To 2011!!

With the new year quickly approaching, I have found myself reflecting quite a bit. There are several things that I want to have happen in this next year, and I am going to list them here. In no particular order --

1. LOSE WEIGHT AND KEEP IT OFF.

I pretty much binged from Halloween until now -- and I feel gross and disgusted with myself. I gained back about five pounds that I had worked so hard to shed earlier this fall. I think the only reason I didn't gain a lot more than that is because we have three flights of stairs that I am constantly going up and down (usually with a heavy baby in my arms) -- so as much as I curse the stairs, I think they've helped me out.

My goal is to lose 8 lbs a month (totally doable!), starting January 1st. That will give me a 32 lb weight loss by the time our 8th anniversary rolls around at the end of April. The weight loss is truly essential to my happiness -- it is a major depressing factor, so this year -- watch out. I am making it a top priority. It's COMING OFF.

2. Grow my business.

Growing the business was not on the top of my list of things to do this past year since I spent most of the year pregnant and having an infant to care for. But I still managed to have a couple of clients, and I found that having a project to work on (usually after the kids are asleep) is also essential to my happiness. I love to create, I love to write, and I love to help people feel connected to their posterity (and their posterity to them). It is extremely rewarding and satisfying work, and I hope to do a lot more of it this coming year.

I also wanted to link to Lindsay Call's recent blog post that I enjoyed -- even though I didn't comment. :)

3. Write my own memoir (or is it memoirs?)

For Christmas, I requested books/guides to writing memoirs to help me in my business (I didn't really realize the difference between memoirs and autobiographies...but now I do). What I didn't expect was to feel inspired to write my own! I'm on page 2 of mine, and let me tell you -- it is TOUGH. I want it to be good, but I know if I try too hard then I'll get discouraged and just end up not writing it at all. I think doing it will really help me understand my clients more and what they're looking for, but already I feel like it will help in my personal life -- figuring out who I am exactly and how I got here. I think writing is truly powerful -- for me (when I'm in the "zone") it often feels like the words flow through me and write themselves. It is revealing -- I always discover things about myself that I didn't quite understand before. It can be scary -- and exhilarating. I haven't written for myself for a long time. I don't count the blog really -- as I usually just spit out something as fast as I can before kids start screaming. (But it has helped me to be able to write some, at least.)

Here's a quote from the book I am currently reading, Fearless Confessions: A Writer's Guide to Memoir that I've found to be true and echoes what I just said: "The writing process itself is part of the journey. The insights you have while writing aren't things you knew at the time the events happened. It's only through writing about events after they happen --as we craft our memoirs--that we come to understand what they mean. All our lives have plots. We find them through writing."

And a quote from Robert Frost to go along -- "No surprise for the writer, no surprise for the reader."

By the way, don't worry -- my memoir is not going to be a confessional! Yikes. I didn't quite know what I was getting into with this book when I requested it, but it was highly recommended online. Despite some edgy stuff, it has really been helpful for me.

4. Be more spiritual.

Doing the obvious things -- reading scriptures every day, going to the temple more often, trying to serve outside of my family more, etc.

5. Be a better mother.

I'm sure most mothers feel that they are lacking in some way -- I am no different. I see many areas I am lacking, and I feel like the other numbers on this list will actually help me in this area. I need to have time for myself to grow and learn and be healthy, so that I will feel fulfilled, happy, and confident. When I feel those things, I know I will feel increased happiness with my children, be more patient and loving, and be a much better role model and teacher for them.

My visiting teacher came over this month, and we were talking about having interests outside of family. She is a grandmother now and said that she really regretted not developing her talents and interests more when she was younger -- outside of her children. Her husband died several years ago, and she said it has really been a struggle for her. She feels her only "identity" is being a grandmother. It made me realize that the way I've been feeling lately is definitely not limited to age or circumstance. I don't know if it's something everyone goes through or not, but in some way it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

So -- here's to 2011!! I have a feeling it's going to be a good year!

I would love to hear any resolutions you guys have if you feel like sharing and haven't done so already on your own blogs. :)