Kate is 7 months old in this picture.A few days ago I came across a complete stranger's blog (who is LDS), and in one sitting I read through six weeks of her blog. I started with the day her year old daughter drowned (click here to read the first entry about her daughter's accident). This woman expresses her innermost emotions so beautifully and has such gorgeous pictures to go along with her entries--tears were streaming down my face as I read. I encourage everyone to read her blog--whether you've lost someone or not, it has been inspiring for me to read of her strength and faith, and a good reminder to cherish every moment I have with Kate and loved ones.
We went to Payson Lakes this weekend with my sister's family; Kate had been unusually crabby the whole time. She has been very clingy to me lately, and it's been hard for me to do anything without her wanting me to hold her. I was worried how she'd sleep--worried she'd cry all night in the tent. But as soon as the flashlights were out and the other kids settled down, Kate curled up on me and fell right to sleep. I tried to put her on her own mattress, but she would just crawl right back onto me and snuggle in. I just held her tightly for a long time and thanked Heavenly Father for such a precious little girl. The next morning, she was the last to wake up. I put my hand on the side of her face to wake her gently, worried she was going to unleash some wrath when she awoke. But as soon as her little brown eyes opened, there were twinkles in them, her nose crinkled, and a smile unveiled itself with a thumb stuck in the middle. She draped her little arm around my shoulders as we laid there, and we just gazed at each other for several minutes. It felt like heaven.
Kate is quickly growing, and I must admit she is not a baby anymore (though I still call her "baby"). It's hard to imagine ever loving another child like I do her, but I'm sure it will happen. When I was younger I never thought that I would ever love children (wasn't a big fan). I even offered one of my friends (who LOVED any and all kids) my first born. I'm glad she never made me pay up.
Anyway, I'm just feeling sentimental lately. I love every stage that Kate's been in so far, but still am a little sad when she moves to the next one. She's such a sweet child, even when she's not being that sweet. I am grateful for Kate's clinginess now; I know it won't last, and in no time she'll be a teenager who greatly prefers my absence.
Every moment to me today has felt so precious. When I went to pick her up from nursery, her eyes lit up when she saw me, and she came running over with her arms outstretched...
I just can't think of a better sight than that.
4 comments:
Great Post. Every picture I see of Kate makes me totally fall in love with her. Those eyes... I loved the talk last conference about how the joy of motherhood is in small moments. That is so true. Thanks for reminding me of that.
i read the post that you pointed us to. you're killing me here. i was at work and totally sobbing.
p.s. i haven't made the official "i'm a blogger" email announcement, but since you are one of my heartiest encouragers, i can tell you that i started a blog llcall.wordpress.com
love, lars
I read the other woman's post too. What a trial but it sounds like they went through it okay. I was crying too. It is important to be reminded how precious every moment and every person is. Thanks for the post.
Great post! I ran across that family's blog a few weeks ago and cried as I read it, as well. Losing a little one is so hard. I know that I am a much better, more patient, more loving, more moment-savoring mom having lost Lily than I would have been otherwise. I'm also more paranoid, but that's beside the point.
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